I used to snack on
mint chocolate chip ice cream.
Any brand, any texture, from any store.
It was all the same: fairly dull, sometimes sweet,
and always made me feel a little sick later.
Then I found green tea.
It took a while before I was given permission
to drink;
But once I did I was hooked
Like a soda-addict, or a chipaholic;
I no longer wanted mint chocolate chip
I have green tea.
I don't love my job, but then, who does? It seems that every time I get a job, I hate it, and as soon as it ends, it was the best job in the world. For instance: I worked at a ranch in Idaho this past summer. It was an amazing experience with a lot of firsts: first time in the real west, first time dancing in public, first dating without going steady.
My job was simple. I brought people their food and refilled their waters; the most work we had to do was mop the wooden floor in the mornings and rearrange tables. All of the things I hated the most revolved around those I was stick working with. The chef was highly stressed, especially with my indecipherable handwriting, and two of the servers and I just didn't understand each other. One was from the country, and he called me "city girl," whereas I'd made a mistake with the other--a comedian--I hooked up with him.
Immediately after I decided to end our relationship, if it was that, he began to hate me. On numerous occasions I asked him a question to which he always laughed and set me on edge. On the last day, I asked him one more time. "Do you hate me?"
"I don't hate you as a person," he said carefully, as though weighing his words, "I just don't like working with you." The joy this sent me I now find embarassing. I was so happy to know that he didn't hate me, that I was practically wagging my tail like a puppy; like a puppy that was just beaten, and is now petted.
During troubled times, former jobs, like every former situation, look wonderful.
For me, life is full of amazing, spontaneous things, and my summer job was amazing because I was always doing something, and even if it was miserable at times, it was hardly boring. My favorite memories from there are those of dancing and dumpster diving, meeting strange Irish guys, and climbing rocks with people I didn't know.
I currently serve (waitress) at a corporate Italian restaurant. I'm sure you've been to one; they are across the country. I don't love my job, but I don't think I hate it, either. The worst parts are pretty standard: strict rules, short-staffed, asshole customers and managers; but the best part is the people I work with. There are over 70 of us. Because of our great numbers, learning names has been challenging, but I'm finally doing it.
Jim is Irish. He's usually pretty quiet. He likes to say my name whenever he sees me. Maybe he likes saying it. "Artemis," he says, "what are you doing, Artemis?" He's one of the only servers to tell me when I'm doing a good job, so I like him. Sometimes he says "Be quiet," to spice things up, I guess. I ignore it.
We have a slew of college kids, and an older generation as well: people in their 30s or 40s. While we're supposed to have only three table at a time, Maria, who is of the latter category, sometimes takes on six tables. For a while she was my role model. I admired her dry humor and get-out-of-my-way attitude. I thought to myself, just be like her and don't make mistakes; don't freak out. Then one day she had a breakdown. I felt betrayed at first, because if Maria could panic, then so could the rest of us, and it meant there was no way to be perfect.
It's usually in times of great distress and fear that we realize we might not be able to do this and--oh, god--why go on? But somehow, we tend to push through it. Money can help. A few weeks ago I worked two nights in a row and I felt a strong, strong desire to quit (although I have no experience with such things, the desire to rid myself of the job might have been akin to that of a laboring mother who desires to push out the child within). Even after counting my tips, which were of a substantial amount, I felt cheated, angry, and desperate to leave.
A few days later, the intensity lightened and all but went away. Focusing on the aspects enjoyed is the best treatment for a disliked job. That was when I began memorizing faces and names and getting to know the people I work with. Like a bi-polar person finding the right prescription, all felt right with the world. For the moment, at least.
She wears her thin hair in a bun. She has homemade granola wrapped in sandwich bags and these inside tin boxes (from the dollar store) to give as gifts on Christmas. Her favorite subjects include: fundamentalist Christians, the Kabalah, my father, and the evils of Wal Mart. When she talks about something that she feels strongly about, her intensity can spread like infection, but it can also be so intense that it's terrifying, much like an out-of-control fire. If someone has an idea that she doesn't agree with, they'd better have a defense prepared.
He's cute when his brother isn't around. When he smiles, his dimples turn into quotes around his mouth. He paces around the house, looking down at his feet as though he's deep in thought. He wants to have fun and to be funny. "You're not the boss of me" and "That's stupid" are two of his favorite sayings. He is excellent at entertaining himself: legos, puzzles, and books keeping him occupied for hours. He talks to himself while in the bathroom. Every morning he plops the advent calendar marker into the pocket marking the next day: December 22. Three days until Christmas.
He's tall and skinny, but his stomach is as flat and hard as a board. He's always smiling and moves his hands when he talks. He talks about everything; God, his parents, tomatoes, "My Side of the Mountain" and other books, and trees. He hikes whenever possible, although finding time to do so is like finding water in the desert--it can happen, but probability is highly unlikely. He visits Idaho whenever he can, and the Kasino Club is his favorite bar; he swing-dances with strangers. He can also waltz, dance goth, and dance dirty. Like his range of subjects, he wants to live in a range of places.
So I’m standing in Yelena's kitchen, and she’s sitting on this white, royal-looking chair next to the back door. We’re both eating some of this stuff she made; it’s like a cookie made of almonds and marshmellows drowned in chocolate and then frozen. It’s crunchy and sweet and the marshmellows make it squishy. Abby, the golden dingo, keeps sitting in front of me raising her paw begging for a handout.
“So I noticed that Isabel has all this new stuff, and I asked if she’s been stealing it from Walmart,” she said. “At first she said no, but then she said yes. She said, ‘Oh but mom, I only steal stuff when I see a manager being mean to an employee because I don’t think they should be treated that way.’”
“So did you tell her it was wrong to steal?” I asked.
“Oh yeah. I told her that stealing shit from them just hurts the people making the stuff in other countries. They notice how much money they’re losing on the stuff that’s being stolen, so they lower the price and pay the workers less money, so they can get away with it.”
“Wow, a normal parent would have just said that stealing is wrong and they could go to jail for doing it.”
“Yeah, well, a normal kid would have said , ‘well I’m just doing it because you won’t give me money.’”
